As my life goes on I almost forgot those questions. At times, it creeps in again but I would just ward it off; saying things like: "This questions will only give me a headache." or "People around me are showing no interest at all in these things, so better not think about it." But after many years of dormancy, the situation forced me to this type of questions again. It was during high school; I started to be bothered by the fact that people tend to have different opinions for the same kind of knowledge. And I'm even more bothered that they are fighting desperately to defend the validity of their own opinions. That time, I often ask myself: How could such a thing happen? Why do people fight over these things?
I was studying in a catholic school back then. So I kind of lead myself to believe that Catholicism as a belief system is all that ever is. But I stumbled in something that would crush that. My eldest brother converted himself to a different sect of Christianity, called the Church of Christ or "Iglesia Ni Kristo." The teachings of the Church made a lot of sense to me during that time. It totally trampled upon what I believe to be the "Catholic teachings". At that time I was convinced that the Catholic teachings is flawed and I felt a need to be in a new Church. That almost lead me to a decision to come into what they said to the "True Church"; but something stopped me. There was a voice inside of me saying "You're not seeing everything yet." Then my doubts crept in. That moment I began to rethink my decision. Then suddenly I realized, perhaps this is some kind of trap. The promise of the "True Church" along with some seemingly valid and heavy criticisms against my current belief system is indeed captivating; however, something did not feel right. What's the people's intention in that Church? Why are they recruiting new members with suspicious enthusiasm? It wasn't clear to me then but I know that this was another trap. Yes, just another trap. This is not the first time I encountered this feeling. Many have successfully trapped me. In a sense that they lead me to believe their stories and premises even though something seems to be wrong with it. It was just a gut feeling back then. That time I did not realized that what I was trapped in is a belief system. A system that was conditioned in my mind ever since I was a kid.
That time I had a realization: It's not the content of their stories that cage me but the belief system that operates around me. A system that wants to limit everything. I remembered many adults were saying to me: "This is the right thing and the only thing that is right." "This is the only way to salvation." "This the path that you should take." All of that sounds very limiting. As if the person, saying this, intends you to be trapped in a box he/she is currently at. It doesn't matter what the box contains as long as you join the party.
All that madness lead me to realize that it's not really about the validity of opinions, standpoints, or teachings. It's about convincing other people to believe in their particular standpoint and condemning those who do not. No matter what the content is, people want you to believe what they believe. And it seems that the want to convince a person to believe their beliefs is prioritized over the intention of sharing the true beauty and essence of the content they want to impart.
Then I wondered why are people like this? It took a lot of years before I came up with an answer. I was still trapped. Trapped in a cage of interplay between aversion and indifference to this kind of behavior. Times came that I too played this madness. I argued about the existence of God many times. For a long time, I did not notice that I was also into this madness. But later there came a moment that I notice that I too am immersed in this madness. One moment when I was about to argue about the existence of God, I felt a sense of "wrongness". The same feeling I'm having when I was in the verge of being trapped. Then it came to me: I was defending myself. Not the idea of God's existence. I was fighting for my need to be right and superior. My urge to convince is not for God's sake but my sake. That's it! I did not care at all about defending my idea. All I cared about is proving the person wrong. And in this process I feel somewhat superior. That was the madness! Perhaps, this is the reason why people are desperately trying to defend or impose their beliefs on others. They want to feel superior or at the very least; feel that they are right. There is some kind of insecurity engraved in people and because of that we often forget the beauty and essentials of what we believe in. Aren't we supposed to share our beliefs because we want to impart it's greatness and beauty? Perhaps we forgot because of our insecurity.
All that insight made me decide to get out of this cage and explore the teachings as they are. Prioritizing the essence of the belief over my own ego. But how is this possible? The idea of an "open-mind" came to me. I attempted to attain this "open mind". I began first by dropping my attachments for my personal standpoints. I accepted that they could be right for me now; but it can be proven wrong at any given moment or another idea clearer than mine may arise. That step really helped me. But perhaps the greatest "opener" insight I realized that time is that: "In every kind of idea or belief there is some kind of truth". This insight brought me to a new level of openness that paved way to new insights and realizations.
But even with that steps, it's still not clear to me what an open mind is really like. My experience during my days in college, perhaps brought about the answer to this question. Back then there was this friend of mine whom I often talk to. We occasionally go to topics concerning: God, morality, religion, spirituality and existential ideas. Then one day this friend of mine made a remark: "You're mind is like an open book, you just accept about everything given to you and make a sense out of it." It would seem that he used the term "Open Book" as a metaphor to an "open mind". I really liked the term because it resonates to the concept of a passive and unbiased way of getting and giving knowledge. The book lets itself be written on. Its like fully listening and fully engrossing itself to the giver of knowledge. Also the book gives knowledge to anyone who seeks it. From this beautiful metaphor, I created a name for my philosophy in life: The Open Book Philosophy. Like the book one should receive knowledge as open as possible, and be there to give knowledge at the right time and at the right moment. All of this characteristics summarize what an open mind is all about.
This way of thinking or philosophy helped me gather a lot of insights from my experiences, including the ideas and experiences of others. In the process of gathering, I realized that there are many dimensions to knowing reality. Different people tend to have different views on reality. My aim is to see the connection of all these views and if time permits discover a dimension that unites all that views.
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